My Love for you never dies.....!!!!

Nature..!! My love for you never dies....!!



I am Nature's girl....I always found it different that I see beauty in everything...

I appreciate the grass flowers, the tridax inflorescence, the squirrels, even the crows....



I like the house sparrows that hop about , unmindful of its play, putting an amusing smile on my lips when a boring lecture is going on... A bird need nt be a peacock to look beautiful for me...!!



The lively squirrels that keep on jumping from one branch to another, gnawing at nuts , drawing furtive glances to bounce away from a child's watchful eye...!!



Its nt only the animals that delight me.. But also the five elements of nature



I love watching the deep blue sky, the eternity of its existence and the unfathomable depth or the illusion of a roof where none exists...... You keep looking and it draws you in....!

The sunrise , the sunset, the dance of the sun gracefully on the sky, casting myriad, shadows of colours that entice...!! The moon and its lonely sojourn, the stars and their brilliance... The sky is an artist's first inspiration... There can be no artist who has ever not tried to capture the sky's marvel.



If the sky is a treat for the eyes, the other four elements are a treat for the senses... Like the wind that takes a newer feel in every season... the nostalgic heavy winds in summer, the lively fresh winds in the spring that add a spring to each step , the chilly harsh ones in the winter...!!!

Nothing can ever be soothing than the morning breeze that starts the day with a never before fresh and peaceful feel.... A dull sore head day jus needs the kiss of the breeze to forget everything and move on...!!



The waters...........if u have ever wanted to experience peace , then the river is the only place where u can feel it.. sit in the waters and close ur eyes and listen to the sounds of nature.. the beautiful gurgling noise...and the reassuring silence.... We can feel one with the world... the waterfalls... the beauty and the power within the falling waters....!!

The earth I need not speak about, the ever patient, vibrant earth.... the hues of brown, red and black that holds every life, creepy, crawly, lively, cheery, the trees, the flowers and everything...!!!

Fire, the ever fascinating one..... The warmth when moderate but the terrible in its full frenzy.. the brillaint bright orange red fires that resemble a passion, a desire... the power and the mighty....!!

Nature... I can keep talking about and lose myself in.... Never ever want to return to any concrete jungle( cliche') ..!!

Love..... But dont overdo...!!!

When we wish someone lots and lots of love, do we actually mean it???

No.. nobody really expects too much of Love cos it stifles...!!
Too much of affection where u actually fawn over someone, wish to be the reason for their every happiness, be the only shoulder in their sorrow, does nt actually provide solace but worries them more.. Cos when u love, they think u are prone to being affected sentimentally more and be hurt... They dont want u to be hurt because u love them too much...!

You do something for the person you love,but you make it a habit, allow yourself to be taken granted for, because you love it... You like to see the gleam of happiness when something is done and you overdo it for that sake.. But you may end up feeling sad thinking that they dont reciprocate it when actually you dont expect the reciprocation... You are happy being the very loving fool...!!

You go through many myriad thoughts...!! You jus get confused why when you love so much and would want to live for them alone, why does it hurt them???

Then slowly realisation dawns, that anything in moderation is fine.. !! Sugary sweet hurts except in movies..!! ( and in gulab jamuns :-)

Love me as a child,
Love me like a child,
unconditionally...!!

But unconditional Love... is not necessary.. do something when someone needs it .. not jus because they like it...! Help or advise when asked, not because you love..!!

Love unrestricted... !!! But dont restrict yourselves..
Love without expecting someone to change !! and dont change yourselves!!
Love without expectation!! and dont expect to much from yourself too..!!!
Love with acceptance!! Accept yourself too!!

Express and give..!! But what happens with this stifling love is that, the person loved has to do some things against themselves, cos u love them too much and they dont want you hurt.....( which actually u dont, because u love them too much)

So.. the final outcome of this immoderate love is that it hurts,you, the person u love and those who love you..

Ayyoooo..!!! I feel like the director of a mushy romantic movie where the hero, heroine , heroine's lover( the ever sacrifical Bakra!!( goat for non-Indian folks) ) who keep on weeping on emotions like there is nothing else to be done in this world..!!!

Hmmmm.....!!! I had enough of this long discussion on love and I believe u had enough too...!!! ( and my friends too who had enough of my stupidly sentimental over expressive anbu thollai...!!)

So we will have more interesting topics to talk in the coming days because I am returning back to my senses..!!!

Relations, Affections, Emotions...!!!!

I always wonder what is the most basic necessity for a person to live, if he already has food, shelter and money......??? The answer would obviously be care and love....!! Whatever a person has achieved,where ever he is, whatever luxury he enjoys, I believe everyone looks for someone to share their feelings with, someone who would care for them and love them....



That is why loneliness kills.... It slowly kills the liveliness in u, it starts to make u very emotional and sensitive , trying to hold on to every little care in the world....But this post is nt about loneliness.. Its abt the affections and relations, the emotions and expressions....



I have read somewhere there are three types of affections or love... The one in which "I " is important...these people love , but their love is satisfying themselves... They are more important for them than the relationship...!! They would love nevertheless, but their love would slowly wipe out the other person...!! Probably u can call it a morbid love, attached and not very understanding....expecting ..!!

The Second type are the people who respect " Love " than themselves or the other person in the relationship.. For them the relation is of the utmost importance that they strive to keep it alive, whatever happens... and they need to be in love always to be happy ...

The third type is the filmi idealistic love where the happiness of "You" matters than their own happiness.. They would sacrifice themselves for the person they love... They would want to be the reason behind every joy the other person feels.... !! There are few living examples of this cos this Love kills.... !! Jus kidding.. these people dont expect anything from the person they love...!!

But to love or not to love is the biggest question of all.. and can u love without expecting? Hmmm.... the answer would be difficult..... Where love is , there is expectation ...!!
But if u love with some expectation, Can we still call it Love???

Love is the greatest paradox.. It is the most confusing emotion on earth....!!

A Walk Alone !!!!!

Have you ever walked alone on a summer day when the winds blow with all their force?? These windy days, the trees bowing to its might, the isolated streets , the bright sun shining above and a silence all around...!! It creates many mixed feelings like when u feel when u are in Love....

First is a peaceful feel, as if I was one with the world, a reassuring feel, the silence is reassuring.. As I slowly begin to smile to myself with this peace in ur heart, a heaviness grows, I slowly realise the mightiness of nature and how little I am and how nondescript I am. What I am in this enormous world,nothing but a speck of dust , insignificant and small.

It also brings with it an emptiness, the loneliness of living.. Whatever emotions that come along, whatever relationships that seem to be very close are nothing but an illusion. It brings to fact the harsh reality of life that we are alone, lonely travellers..... We seem to know everything but cant help being troubled by attachments ..... The truth of life that we actually live alone....

As the winds rush past, it awakens the need for someone very close, someone who lives for us alone, though it is an impractical desire. It brings happiness, pain and peace at the same time.... It also raises the void in life.......!!

Do u all feel the same way as I do? ????

US.. the land of opportunities and paradox

Hmmmm............ I continue my talk on USA... So I appreciate many things in US... The law is quick and there is less corruption, at least at the lower levels.. U cant escape being fined by trying to bribe the traffic police.... Not even "Please please Uncle.. I forgot at home tactics will work" The students dont copy or cheat in exams at least not as bad as they try to do back home... Not that everyone of them is honest... But they somehow stick to rules... These people are unconventional in thought and at the same time, they stick to rules.. Weird paradox!! Isnt it?

You would think that many people would be rich and most of them lead a luxurious life .. but every place has its own story of poverty. Its poverty that drives people to shoplift, mug, rob, eat junk and grow obese, neither luxury nor being brought up as spoilt kids drives them to crime.. Its pure poverty...

With the high standard of education, we would expect to find many educated people here... But many dont intend to study beyond High school.. Not that they lack intelligence... !!

USA is indeed a intriguing country... But its still enjoyable... The sense of adventure and the risk taking nature is appreciable.. They love sports.. You can try all the new sports like ice skating, go karting, etc etc... ( the sports that are a rich man's luxury back home)...

I will continue my blog on the same topic... keep reading and do comment....

US.... and the life here....

I had never imagined I would come to this land of opportunities ( cliche') ... I still wonder how a die-hard brain drain supporter like me had landed here... I still remember those days when I had given fiery speeches in the college assembly in my undergraduate days about why intelligent brains leave India...... Hmmm.. hey .. dont think I have double standards... What made me come here was that I needed to resurrect my career....!!! Probably everyone had such reasons... ! I feel so sorry for having hurt a very dear friend who wanted to come to US very much in our PG days and I used to discourage her very badly by commenting on " The worthlessness of US" ...

Every dog has its day( again a cliche') and this dog ( probably I would be the gentle labrador if ever I am a dog.. huge and cuddly and gentle) had its year (2007) to come to US... I remember how fast my decisions had been and how quick everything moved.. GRE,TOEFL, Application, Admission , flight and here I am... It was only a matter of 6 months that took to get me into this land of paradox....

I remember the first flight... I had booked the window seat as I wanted to lookout from the sky..( I later realised my ignorance.... A window seat is really uncomfortable as u have to cause inconvenience to two more people to get up to go to the loo) .. Probably the travel in trains had hung onto me that made me want a window seat...(:-))

I looked out of the window and all I could see were clouds... I thought travel in the aeroplane would be exciting like we are moving forwards... But all the while, it was nothing but a feeling as if the plane is stationary.. the only exciting thing about the flight was the channel which displayed how and where we were flying.. So it was excitig to learn we flew over Greenland and North pole at a height of about 10,000 meters..( higher than Mt.Everest) ....

I could give an account of all our travel and travails we faced.. but I am not writing a travelogue... Its a blog and a blog isnt supposed to be boring...

So change the track... USA.... I am not in love with it nor am I enamoured with it.... But I appreciate many aspects of it....
The first thing abt US that is in complete contrast with India is its Technology...They have an amazingly developed technology ( read all facilities)...

I also appreciate the sense of art they have....their art is unconventional... they try to build something extraordinary out of ordinary material... and they appreciate every form with an aesthetic sense ....

The standard of education is also different with the application mode of study being encouraged... The students who had been habituated with mugged up study back home may find it difficult here....Brains r to be used...!!!!!

When i had come here with my Teaching assistantship, I had a pre conceived notion that I would have to deal with rowdies and uncontrollable brats... But I was proved wrong.. American students are polite, disciplined and good... They are casual in their talk but they do respect ur teaching and try not to disturb you in the class.... It was a big surprise for me... !!!

Well... let me continue my blog later .. I will come with why I call "US the land of paradox" in my next post....

Keep reading....

Summer is here

The Summer s already come in the hot land of Texas where I live.... The spring existed only for a week as if it were exempted from staying and remained only for the sake of attendance....
Summer I love because of the breeze that flows past in the morning and evening like a compensation the weather has provided for being harsh during the day...

But the Summer here is so different, makes me nostalgic and yearn for my country.. The breeze flows but it doesnt carry the scent of jasmine..... Nor the sweet bitter enigmatic flowering scent of the neem...I miss the resplendent bloom of the gulmohurs... the most beautiful tree in the world... The red canopy of flowers on a leafless tree...

I miss the road side stalls selling buttermilk and sugarcane, ( would be called unhygienic , I would call it Immune boosting) ,probably they would also be canned here.... the date palm fruits( called Nunju in telugu and Nungu in tamil)...

The thing I would miss terribly are the mangoes... the benisha , banganpalli fruits.. tasty and delicious...

Or the sweet moments with the family when the power is shut off to conserve energy, talking of all the memories lying on the terrace looking at the starry night...

The smell of water on parched earth and the various methods to cool the room.... the different birds that came on a migratory tour... blue, yellow coloured, small, long, twittering beings that liven up the morning....

The children here would have never known this.. they have memories of playing on various rides in an amusement park.. but to live in a land which still has places unspoiled by corporate world, My country, its heaven....!!!